i reaaally don't like school.. school work, that is.

IT'S SPIRIT WEEK.
finally.

This was today. Tacky day. (I'm in the red beanie and the yellow striped sweater.)

I'm here because I'm procrastinating. I've sorta taken a liking to tumblr lately. I have a journal for AP english that is due tomorrow that I REALLY don't want to do. If it were something like talking about the development of the character, I'd be fine with that. But no. We have to type a passage out from the book and talk about syntax, diction, tone, organization, and figures of speech. I really, really, really don't want to do that. I can't really even focus at all today. But anyway, I'll have more spirit week pictures sometime soon. The week is still young.

xoxo,

Claire.

you're amazing!

This blog is dedicated to one of two of my absolute best friends.

DinoNiccy.

She's been having a rough time lately, and I know exactly what she's going through because it's exactly what I was going through 2 weeks ago. Without her & LeighAiko, I really would probably be a wreck right now. She happens to be one of the most amazing people I've ever met. A stupid guy doesn't change that. She's beautiful, smart, nice, and funny. If that stupid guy doesn't see that, he doesn't deserve her. She deserves to be happy. I just wanted to let her know that I'll always be there for her and I've got her back, just like she had mine, and I always will. Even if it takes a blog to prove it. I love you seester.

xoxo,

Claire.

show me your teeth.

Wimps of the world,

Know that you never get ANYTHING you want if you're too scared to go get it.

Broadway stars would never get their parts if they were too scared to audition.

Armies would have never won if they were too scared to go fight.

Heroes would have never become heroes if they were too scared to take a risk.

So I'm gonna say this once, and if you don't do it, it'll only be you that takes the fall.

Show me your teeth.

xoxo,

Claire

-insert catchy title here that relates to everything in this blog post, although it's really just a bunch of randomness-

So, I've come to the conclusion that I want to write a book. A book. Just one.

I'm gonna put it on my bucket list.

This is because in class, we are reading Ellen Foster. I'm in love with this book. The girl in the book thinks exactly like I do. It's kind of amazing.

& even stranger, Kaye Gibbons, the author of the book is from MY town and graduated from MY high school!

Kaye Gibbons based the book off her life, and she just names herself Ellen in the book.

It's a great book so far. I haven't been able to put it down.

One of these days I'm gonna write a book though. Just not now. I have not the time to do such a thing.

I really feel myself getting better. Days pass, and I start to forget.

I'm good at this kind of stuff- Stuffing away things I don't want to think about- Mostly because of my dad. My parents are divorced (My dad left when I was 6 years old), so it's always been sort of hard for me. They've had a really messy divorce, and a messy court custody case that went on for 10 years. I also have an evil stepmother, who is 22 years younger than my dad, a dentist, who I am convinced she only married for money, and then had a child with to secure the money (Yes, I have a half brother. They won't let anyone know this, so behold blogspot, my half brother was born with 6 toes, and is probably autistic. He couldn't talk at age four, and they refuse to admit anything is wrong with him. I do love the kid, I feel awful for him that he's stuck with them for parents and I understand that it's not his fault that he's this way, but he definitely has a problem) She's a total bitch, basically. White trash. I remember sitting in our "family talks" having to sit there and listen screaming at me and calling me names. Thankfully, I'm out of that situation now..

Anyways, because I lived with those horrible people that genetics say are related to me (my dad at least. My stepmom's not related to me. I refuse to be related to her.) I can deal with enormous amounts of stress- Zone out, forget. I learned how to zone out a long time ago through this. It helps a lot with stuff like this. Just drift off, and you aren't really there, therefore your problems aren't either.

However, I expected meaness from my dad and stepmother. Zorro turned on me very suddenly. So it's been a little harder, but I forget.

I'm still not dating. I don't really wanna screw anymore friendships over or have places I won't be able to go or people that won't like me just because of who I'm dating. I just really think it's not worth it. Not worth the hurt, the tears. None of it. Love is just a load of bull crap. Unless you're talking about your friends or family. I can honestly say I love my friends. I would never hurt them. I mean LeighAiko and DinoNiccy have been here for me 24/7. Best friends anyone could ever ask for.

When the person that is supposed to love you hurts you, I guess they're not really a lover if they would even consider hurting you.

& There's not really anyone I want to date. I'm really not a shallow person. Personality definitely comes before looks in my book.. but sometimes looks are a nice bonus;) Sometimes I consider dating someone else, but then I find that fatal flaw that would kill the relationship. For example, I was recently asked out by a guy.. 5 minutes after asking me out, he told me about how he was talking to a new girl every day now and how bad it was. He said he wanted to have at least a steady relationship for a month but he wouldn't do anything that lasted for 6 months. I'm sorry, but that's kind of awful to me. I can't date guys like that. I refuse to be "one of the girls" or just someone that a guy plans to have a little fling with. That doesn't work for me. So I probably will not be accepting that invitation..

So instead of accepting that invitation, I'll probably just accept my invitation to go read more of Ellen Foster.

Maybe you'll read my book one day, blogspot, whoever you are reading this..
thank you for caring;)

The song this time is one of my favorite songs in the whole world. Kids by MGMT. Mostly because it sounds beautiful on the piano, but for some reason, says something about getting over hardship and learning to cope with things to me. So I thought it'd be worthy to play in the background. Enjoy:)

xoxo,

Claire

baby, it's cold outside.

It was 40 degrees this morning!

MY FEET ARE SO COLD.

I had to wear a sweater and jeans. I was so surprised!
The teachers seemed to be really happy at the fall weather.. all of them kept their windows and doors open. So I stayed cold through the whole day. My hands and feet have been so cold all day.
Today is the first day I've really talked to Colbydeanya in like 2 weeks, so I take that as a sign I'm getting better.
Talking to him has sorta been a reminder of Zorro, and I've really been trying to stay away from that.
I'm actually starting to miss the Capstone Project. It's nice being able to just ditch class and go get on the computer and type for the whole class period. Originally, I thought I'd be having to do the Capstone Project at home. I've already got my draft turned in.
Yesterday, LeighAiko and I went to church with BuzzLightyear, and JessicaMessica. After, we all went to Target to look at Halloween costumes. Hey, it's coming up! We looked through them, and we decided that we were thinking we wanted something a little more original.. so we went to K-mart. The BIG K-Mart at that. Big K-Mart, with a big smile, as they used to say;) here's mine. (I'm an indian, yo!..or Native American? and JessicaMessica is a pirate!)

Not sure if this is going to be my halloween costume yet, but I like it;)

Til' Next time;)

xoxo,

Claire